Tuesday 22 June 2010

Need a favour?

Do not take upon the favour of the one who bestows,
Upon you a bounty then reminds you of it.
And choose for yourself what you have been given,
And be patient for verily patience is a shield.
The reminder of favours by people is, upon the hearts,
Is more hurtful than the tips (of swords).



Intention is a fundamental part of doing good in Islam. The Imam is saying that if one ever does a good deed it should only be done to achieve God’s pleasure and not to win the praise or favour of the person you are helping out.
This point is made clearly in the Qur’an when Allah says:
“O you who believe! Do not render in vain your Sadaqah (charity) by reminders of your generosity or by injury, like him who spends his wealth to be seen of men, and he does not believe in Allah, nor in the Last Day. His likeness is the likeness of a smooth rock on which is a little dust; on it falls heavy rain which leaves it bare. They are not able to do anything with what they have earned. (2:264)
This also works the opposite way too. If ever you need help then you should go to someone who does it for God and won’t expect something back from you. This will save you from exploitation and make sure you are dealing with a God-fearing individual.

Sunday 13 June 2010

Diseases are from three things

Three are they the causes of destruction for humans,
And call the healthy to diseases.
Alcoholism, too much lovemaking,
and eating food upon food.

The Imam was an accomplished doctor as well as a Jurist, and he was often mistaken as a doctor by other doctors who were always very impressed by his deep knowledge of the human body.
His advices of giving up alcohol and not overeating are easily acceptable and have vast amounts of medical research to back them up. As for his advice about too much lovemaking, there are different medical and psychological opinions on the matter, and the advice varies from person to person. But by and large, if lovemaking overtakes other more important things in ones life then this can clearly be from the "causes of destruction for humans". Medically the opinions are more murky but once again there is evidence to suggest that one can do more harm than good by over-stretching oneself.

Monday 7 June 2010

The harvest of innovation

Mankind don’t stay on the straight path for long without falling into innovation,
By inventing things in the religion from their minds that the prophets were not sent with.
To the extent that most of them didn’t care for the religion of Allah,
And were occupied with what they took up in its place.

Thursday 3 June 2010

The bad characteristics of society

There is only plotting and flattery to be found in society,
They are a thorn if you touch them, and a flower if you look upon them.
And if necessity forces you to live amongst them,
Then be like fire perchance the thorns might be set aflame.

The meaning of this poem is that when one comes across evil people and is forced to live amongst them, then one should be constantly alert and not be afraid of being retaliatory to open animosity from someone.
The analogy used sums this up beautifully. If someone is like a thorn to you, and is causing you harm, then you should be like a flame to this thorn. If a thorn is placed in a flame then the flame is unaffected while the thorn burns to a crisp. Thus we should conduct ourselves in a way that we don’t leave ourselves open to harm from evil people.
But at the same time lets remember that fire is a vital tool in the hands of the adept. This means we must make ourselves useful and helpful towards those who need it as well as burning the thorns.

Wednesday 2 June 2010

Visiting the Ill

A man came to Shafi’i and told him that his friend was ill. Shafi’i replied: “By God you have done me good, and woken up my honour and turned away from me the lie-ridden apologies.” Shafii was referring to the case where he would later have had to apologise to his friend for not visiting him and his friend might have suspected that he was lying and had knowingly not visited.
Then Shafii said:

To walk barefoot full of pain, upon hot sand in Dhu Tawa, is easier than to give a friend a lie-laced excuse.

Then he said:

I find tranquillity in the correct upon doing it,
And it is a hard day upon me if I intentionally left it.
And you are well-blessed if you are not seen as a liar,
And your saying “I didn’t know” is very difficult.
And whomsoever fulfils the rights of the neighbour after the right of his cousin,
And his close friend, be he in any situation.
Then he shall live as a leader of the people  and sweet will be his remembrance amongst society,
And if a calamity befalls him then they will come willingly.

Looking out for our brothers and sisters is an important part of being part of the Muslim Ummah and visiting the ill forms part of this duty.
And if we do this duty well, then we will be well-mentioned and well-remembered, and people will want to come to our help when we are in need.

Monday 31 May 2010

Generosity

If you are not generous and life is passing along, 
And your hands possess surplus and the ability to give. 
And what will be asked from you if you were to be sacked?, 
And when the world was to bite into you with its canines. 
And time will take back what it bestowed upon you, 
For verily it is a habit of time to take back the loan.


Wealth is not something that will last forever. We all work hard and save up money, but by the time we have it saved up we are near to our death and it all passes on to our children. We don’t give charity because we want to save up and plan to give it when we have enough. But we should ask ourselves this: When is enough?

Never. Thus the Imam is saying that when money is coming in we should spend in the way of Allah as thanks because one never knows when all the wealth could disappear.

Saturday 29 May 2010

How to give a Fatwa

Strength

After giving a verdict on Islamic jurisprudence Shafi’i said the following:

If problems confront me,
I unveil its truths for the inspection of people.
The tongue is like the spittle of an expensive camel,
And like the Yemeni sword.
And I am not from the dull and unoriginal-of-thought amongst man, I ask different people about events.
But I am, by the two small pieces of flesh,
A bringer of good and a remover of evil.

The Imam was first and foremost a Faqih, or a Islamic Law Jurist, and this poem encapsulates what his primary occupation entailed.
A verdict would have to be clear and concise so people could understand it. But at the same time it would have to have intellectual rigour and razor-sharp analysis of the problem as well as being able to draw upon a large bank of life experience gained from talking to people.
But above all, the delivering of a verdict was to become a “bringer of good and a remover of evil” and the Imam did this by using the two most important pieces of flesh in our entire bodies: the tongue and the heart.

Friday 28 May 2010

The value of the guest

I am generous with what I have even if I had to spend the night hungry,
With a hungry stomach and feeling pain inside.
And I make myself appear rich amongst my close friends,
To hide from them my situation and verily I have nothing.
And between me and Allah,
The truth is for verily he is all-knower of situations.

This poem exhorts us all to give the guest his due even to the extent where we make do without things just so that the guest can have a good experience.
Guests are a blessing from Allah and we should treat them in that manner. They should be welcome in our homes and we should never feel distaste if someone should come around to our house.

Tuesday 25 May 2010

Fame and reputations

A man wins and then he is well mentioned,
Until he is ascribed things he didn’t even do.
And you will see the scoundrel whose defects are well known,
Is sad and held accountable for things he didn’t even do.

The poem is stressing the importance of reputations and how they affect the verdicts of people so much so that they will draw the opposite conclusion to a situation just because the person in question has a reputation for that response.
So for example if an Imam who is known for his piety is seen picking up something from a shop counter without paying for it then the first reaction of people will likely be to assume that he has already paid for it or that he was given it free on a prior arrangement. Of course this may not be true, but that is the power of the reputation.
On the other hand you have a known thief who also picks up something without paying for it. The first reaction of the onlookers will be that he is stealing that, though this may not be the case again.
But of course reputations are built over time and through substance. One cannot create a reputation from thin air. Good reputations only come through time and consistent good dealings and conduct.

Sunday 23 May 2010

scratching your back?

Nothing scratches your back quite like your fingernails, 
So take upon yourself all of your affairs. 
And if you are in need of something, 
Then seek it with one who knows your worth.

This poem uses the analogy of how one who wants to scratch his back but uses someone else to do it for him, will never be able to perfectly pinpoint the itch to the person doing the scratching, however good his instructions are. The best scratch possible for him is only by his own hands. The Imam is advising us using this analogy to become self sufficient, as that’s better for us and as it means one isn’t encumbered by favours from others.
However if one really must get help, then the poem advises to get advice from one who knows your worth, or from one who won’t exploit the fact that he’s helped you. This is the one who knows that you too have skills and things he might later get help in from you, or he respects you for whatever reason and helps you due to that respect, rather than expecting any reward from it afterwards.

Thursday 20 May 2010

What to do when an idiot talks to you

فخير من إجابته السكوت
إذا نطق السفيه فلا تجبه
وإن خليته كـمدا يمـوت
فإن كلمته فـرّجت عنـه


If a foolish person speaks then don’t answer him,
For verily silence is better than answering him.
And if you were to talk to him he would be happy,
And if you were to leave him then he would die sad.

The Imam continues to argue that silence in the face of those who are foolish or ignorant is the best way to respond. Often people who are arguing without knowledge and manners don’t have any credibility or following, but by the well-respected and followed leader responding to them, they suddenly get far more attention than they merit.
This teaching is also found in the Qur’an where Allah says “
And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness.” (25:63).
This doesn’t mean one never speaks the truth, but rather, that one should not persist in arguing with someone who is clearly not interested about the truth, but in point scoring and pettiness.

Wednesday 19 May 2010

The most profitable of trades

إذا لم أجد ربحا فلست بخاسر
وجدت سـكوتي متجرا فلزمتــه
وتاجره يعلو على كل تاجــر
وما الصمت إلا في الرجال متاجر

I found silence something profitable so I held firmly onto it,
And even if I don’t find profit then I am not a loser.
And verily silence is for men but something profitable,
And its trader will rise above all other traders.

The poem is likening silence to a profitable transaction. It is a safe investment in that little harm can come to you when you have said nothing. It is a profitable transaction in the long term too, as eventually the one who speaks too much without thought will get bitten by something he or she said. As for the safe silent one, he will be able to gradually build up a reputation for speaking the truth and not being one who indulges in vain talk. His words will accordingly be given much greater respect.

Tuesday 18 May 2010

Silence is golden

There is no benefit in excess talk,
If you have already been guided to the best of a matter.
And silence is better for a young man,
Than speaking inopportunely.
And for the young man there is for his character,
A sign that is apparent on his forehead.

Silence is something we often view as a weakness or something that connotes negativity. This is not always the case. Silence is something precious in Islam and one should always be very careful with what one says with the tongue. It has the potential to make one enter the hellfire or be safe from it. This is shown by the hadith of the Prophet who said he would guarantee paradise for the one who could guarantee that he kept his private parts and tongue away from sin.[1]
Often when we argue or debate something, we are going around in circles and adding nothing new or constructive to the debate. In these cases the poem is advising us to be silent and expend our energies in something more useful.
The next lines then discuss why silence is particularly pertinent for the young man. Arab and Islamic traditions teach that youth is something to be utilized in the best possible way. This is generally meant to take the form of gaining knowledge and piety. Imam Shafii shows this clearly by saying that a young man shouldn’t speak at inopportune moments such as when he doesn’t have the knowledge of the right thing to say, and that he should gain piety, which is a much greater way of distinguishing himself than speaking. This piety is visible through the mark of prostration that is found on the forehead of Muslims who pray regularly.


[1] Bukhari, book 82, hadith 799

Monday 17 May 2010

The difference between the lion and the dog

إن الجـواب لـباب الشر مفتــاح
قالوا سكتَّ وقد خُوصمت؟ قلت لهم
وفيه أيـضا لصون العرض إصلاح
والصمت عن جاهل أو أحمق شرف
والكلب يُخسى- لعمري- وهو نباح
أما ترى الأسد تُخشى وهي صامتة


They said you became silent and you were being argued with - so I said to them,
Verily the answer is a key to the door of evil.
And being quiet in front of someone ignorant or foolish is worthy of respect,
And in it also there is betterment for the protection of my affairs.
Do you not see that the lions strike fear in the hearts while they are silent,
While the dog is rejected, I swear by my life, and he is one who barks.

Imam Shafii was being shouted at by someone who didn’t have knowledge of what he was talking about, and the Imam  observed silence in the face of this adversary. Later on his students asked “why did you do this oh Imam?” and he replied with this poem.
He says that it is better for one to avoid argument with someone ignorant, as you can never win an argument with them. Also, if he were to engage in a debate with such a worthless person, he would have further incensed that person and caused him to launch into an ad hominem attack as well as opengin the door to slander and backbiting once the meeting was at an end.
And the Imam strikes a powerful analogy. The lion is revered and respected yet he rarely makes a sound, while the dog is seen as worthless in Arab culture and yet he is one of the noisiest animals.
This analogy is also useful for one who wants to adopt leadership positions. People often think that leadership means one needs to talk a lot. This is not true. In fact the opposite is often much more effective, as then you are listening to your subordinates and when you do speak, your words carry weight. 

Sunday 16 May 2010

How to become wealthy, and the end of the misers

سوى من غدا والبخل ملء إهابه
بلوت بني الدنيا فلم أر فـيهــم
قطعت رجائي منهـم بـذبـابـه
فجردت من غمد القناعة صارمـا
ولا ذا يراني قاعدا عند بـابــه
فلا ذا يراني واقفا في طريقــه
وليس الغني إلا عن الشيء لا به
غني بلا مال عن النــاس كلهـم
ولج عتوا في قبيح اكتســابـه
إذا ما الظالم استحسن الظلم مذهبا
ستدعي له ما لم يكن في حسابـه
فكِلهإلى صرف الليالي فإنهـــا
يرى النجم تحت ظـل ركـابــه
فـكم رأينا ظالمـــا متمــردا
أناخت صروف الحادثات ببـابـه
فعـما قليل وهو في غفـلاتــه
ولا حسنات تلتقى في كتــابــه
فأصبح لا مال ولا جــاه يرتجى
وصب عليه الله سوط عــذابـه
وجوزي بالأمر الذي كان فاعـلا

I tested mankind and did not see in them,
except those with skin full’s of miserliness.
So I drew from my sheath the sword of contentment,
And cut my requests to them with the tip of my blade.
And he does not see me standing in his street,
And he does not see me sitting at his door.
Richer than all of society, without money,
And wealth is only by not requiring things.
If a wrongdoer decides upon wrongdoing as his belief,
And arrogantly persists upon his evil actions.
Then leave him to the passing of the nights,
For verily, they will bring him what he had not reckoned for.
And how many rebellious wrongdoers have we seen,
That arrogantly view the star as below the shade of their riding beast.
So after a short while he will, because of his ignorance,
Have lowered onto his door many adversities.
And he has become one who doesn’t desire money or life,
And no good deeds are there in his book.
And he allows (others) all the actions that he used to do,
And Allah poured upon him the scourge of his punishment.

The poem is talking about what our approach to wealth should be. The first part of the poem is aimed at the poorer person who may require monetary assistance. The second part is aimed at the one who has wealth and is stingy, and the poem describes what his end will be.
The poem states that for those who are poor (or even rich), man will never ever be happy with what he has and will want more. Thus the real wealth or “lack of need” as it is literally translated in Arabic, is to not desire things and be happy with what you have.
There are also two kinds of sustenance. One that is positive in that Allah gives you wealth, the other is the negative where Allah turns away a trial from you - and this is the greater sustenance. So once again, the message for the poor person is to be happy with your lot, as you don’t know how much sustenance you’ve really been getting.
As for the one who has money and does not give, then Allah can take from him as quickly as he gave to him. That is not an issue for him. This person will also have the misery of the afterlife to deal with too.

Saturday 15 May 2010

Success is about YOU not your age or status

ترقّى على رؤوس الرجال ويخطب
أرى الغر في الدنيا إذا كان فاضلا
يقاس بطفل في الشـوارع يلعـب
وإن كان مثلي لا فضيلة عـنـده

I saw that the inexperienced in the world if he is outstanding, will ascend onto the heads of men and give address.
And were he to be like me and have no excellence,
Then he would be like the child playing in the street.

The poem is emphatically stating that experience is not the end all of everything, especially in symbolic or ideal-based leadership positions. If an individual is truly outstanding, then he will rise rapidly, and surpass those who used to be above him. The word “yukhtabu” which is translated here as “give address” literally refers to the Friday sermonizing that happens all across the world every Friday which nearly all Muslim men listen to. In other words the Imam is saying that if someone deserves such a lofty position and has the knowledge and temperament for it, then he will reach that position, or should be allowed to reach it.
The Imam then shows his humbleness by saying he has “no excellence” and describes the opposite of brilliance and leadership as children playing on the street. This is a fascinating analogy as the word “yalabu” “to play” has connotations of wasting time in Arabic texts. It says in the Qur’an that “And the life of this world is nothing but play and amusement.” (6:32).
A child often doesn’t have any concerns or worries, even if their parents do, and is unaware of them. This unawareness or unconcern is being used as a simile to the unconcern and unawareness we have of the greater objectives in life, and the concern for the hereafter.

Thursday 13 May 2010

How to use setbacks to springboard to better things

فأكره أن أكون له مجيبا
يخاطبني السفيه بكل قبح
كعود زاده الإحراق طيبا
يزيد سفاهة فأزيد حلمـا

The foolish one addresses me with all ugliness,
And I dislike to reply to him.
He increases in insolence and I increase in forbearance,
Like perfume is increased in its beautiful smell by burning.


The poem uses a powerful analogy to show how evil can be turned to good. In the poem something harmful like “burning” is turned into something beautiful and beneficial like a “beautiful smell”. We learn the lesson that we should use everything, both positive and negative, to grow and develop as individuals. All new experiences are an adventure and a new nugget of knowledge, information, or life skills that we didn’t have before. We should take them as such, and use them to develop, not complain about them.

How great people conduct themselves

وما العيب إلا أن أكون مساببــه
إذا سبني نذل تزايدت رفعـــة
لمكنتها من كل نــذل تحـاربـه
ولو لم تكن نفسي عليّ عزيـزة
كثير التواني للذي أنا طــالبــه
ولو أنني أسعى لنفسي وجـدتني
وعار على الشبعان إن جاع صاحبه
ولكنني اسع لأنفع صـــاحبي


If a lowly man insults me then I am only raised in rank,
and there is no wrong except if I were to retort.
And were not my person dear to me,
I would have set it into argument with every lowly man.
And were I striving for my benefit then you would find me,
Very patient for what I strive for.
But I strive for the benefit of my companion,
And despicable is the full-stomached if his companion is hungry. 

Explanation:
The poem starts off with a clear guidance on how great people conduct themselves when unworthy and unqualified people attempt to insult them. The Imam is saying that silence and aloofness is the best rebuttal to these people and that answering them only adds credibility to them and detracts from the great persons.
The Imam then talks about what one should put all their efforts in. Not in pursuits which only benefit oneself but rather in pursuits which benefit others.


Wednesday 12 May 2010

Dignity of Man - how to win people over

ومن حَقِـرَ الرجال فلن يهابا
ومن هاب الرجال تهيَّبــوه
ومن يعص الرجال فما أصابا
وما قضت الرجال له حقوقا


And whomsoever dignifies men then they will dignify him,
and whomsoever degrades men then he will never be dignified.
And whomsoever does the bidding of men then he has rights,
and whomsoever angers men then he has not done good.

The poem is fairly self explanatory. If you treat people well, then you will get treat well yourself. Some people might say, well we always do good and yet people still don’t treat us properly? Well the answer to this is two-fold. Firstly, look at your intention for treating people well. Are you just doing it for your own ends or are you genuine about your concern for others? And if you are genuine about your concerns, remember, God works in mysterious ways. You never know when that one good deed you did comes back and rescues you many years from now. None of us know what the future holds in store for us, or who will have power over us or will be our subordinate. The best policy is to be equally good to all.
The poem then claims that people will have rights if they respect others. What this means is that if you were to oppress someone by forcing him to sell you a car for cheap because he needs the money, and then later on expect the same person to help you out because you have run into difficulties, then you can expect a sharp rejection. But if you did good to that man and gave him a fair price, then you have the moral right to expect good to come from him. This doesn’t mean that you do the good with the expectation of return, but the Imam is making a general point that someone who is generally nice to people and treats them honourably and well, then he can expect to have helpers in his time of need.
Similarly, anger is a intensely negative emotion and rarely leads to positive outcomes. If you infuriate someone then you’re hardly going to be very popular with them are you? The best way to approach a conflict issue is to look for common ground, or to praise the person in some way, and then to clearly state your complaint and the way you have been affected. After that keep your head, and make sure your tone is level. 

Tuesday 11 May 2010

Turning away from ignorance

Turning away from ignorance

I turn away from the ignorant foolish one,
for everything he says he is in it too;
and the Euphrates river will not be harmed even one day,
if some dogs were to plunge into it.

Ignorant people have foolishness and ignorance already built in to whatever they say. Imam Shafii is saying that there is no point arguing with these people as they are not arguing based on logic, but rather lack of knowledge. It does not befit someone of knowledge (i.e. a scholar) to argue with someone who is clearly arguing for the sake of arguing and not to get to the correct opinion.
The example of the Euphrates river is very powerful. If dogs were to jump into the Euphrates, they would not make it impure. Similarly, however much shouting an ignorant person may do, he will never be able to destroy the truth at the end of the day.

Apologies for the lack of Arabic - I couldn't find the Arabic to go with the translation as I'm away from my copy of the Divan.

Please share.

Monday 10 May 2010

How to achieve strength, contentment, and respect


فإن النفس ما طمعت تهون
أمت مطامعي فأرحت نفسـي
ففي إحيائه عرض مصون
وأحييت القنـوع وكان ميتـ
علته مهانة وعـلاه هـون
إذا طمع يحل بقلـب عبـدٍ
 
Translation:
I killed my desires and freed myself,
For verily a person if he desires, becomes weak.
And I brought to life contentment and it was dead,
And in its resurrection there was protection for my affairs.
If desire is found in the heart of a person,
Then humiliation and weakness shall be upon him.

Explanation:
Man is inherently designed to follow some set of commands, be it divine commands, the commands of another person, or the commands of the desires. But if we manage to control our desires and do not follow their urgings then we have freed ourselves from the Hellfire, from wasting our time, from slavery to our bodies, and we become much more strong-minded as people. The Companions of the Prophet were from amongst the most strongest-minded people to have ever lived as they were the ones who had almost entirely defeated their desires. They would sleep little in order to worship Allah at night; they would eat little and fast in order to attain piety and not become unhealthy and abuse the body Allah had given them; they would fight with their lives for the sake of Allah; and they would strive with their minds to learn knowledge and to teach others. Their entire life was a struggle against their desires – as is ours – but they won their battle and ours is still being fought. As a rule of thumb, if your desires tell you do something, think twice about doing it, until you become absolutely sure it is  allowed in Islam.
The word “Tama'” which has been translated as desires has negative  connotations of taking from others, while “tamh” which also translates as desires, has positive connotations of wanting prosperity and striving without the detriment of others and it is not as lustful of wealth as “tama'” and is often used to describe the “desire for knowledge”.
Contentment is the main weapon against our desire for wealth and collecting possessions. And if we are content with what we have, then not only will Allah give blessing in what we have so that it becomes vast and plentiful for us, but also Allah has taken it upon himself to provide sustenance to his creation and therefore will guard our means of sustenance for us or provide us with other means, as he says in the verse:
“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).3 And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.” (2-3:65)
All we have to do is rely on Allah after doing the best we can, and then Allah promises us that he will help us and bring us respite.
“Ird”, which has here been translated as ones “affairs” is another tricky word to translate as it literally means things related to ones person such as ones wife, property, and body; but it also means honour and dignity. So the Imam is saying that all these things will be protected because of the adoption of contentment.
The Imam concludes the poem by emphasising that acting according to ones desires will only lead one to do evil and despicable acts which will lead to disgrace and humiliation in this world and the hereafter; and this giving in to ones desires will only weaken ones self-resolve and one will become occupied with merely fulfilling ones base desires to the detriment of the greater and higher goals in life.

Sunday 9 May 2010

Why forgiving is better for us in the long term

The noblest of characters


أرحت نفسي من هم العداوات
لما عفوت ولم أحقد على أحـد
لأدفع الشر عني بالتحيــات
إني أحيّي عدوي عند رؤيتـه
كما إن قد حشا قلبي محبـات
وأظهر البشر لإنسان أبغضـه
وفي اعتزالهم قطـع المودات
الناس داء ،وداء الناس قربهم

Translation:
When I forgave and envied none,
From the affliction of enmity did I set myself free.
Verily I greet my enemy when I see him,
To repel evil from myself with greetings.
And I express gladness to a person I am angry with,
As if my heart is full of love.
Humanity is an illness and its cure is propinquity,
And by forsaking them there comes an end to affections.

Explanation:
One finds that holding secret ill-thoughts about others derives from two things; either the person is an enemy who has angered us by an action of his, or he is someone we envy and wish to become like. The word “hasad”, which has been translated as “envy” here,   carries connotations of wanting the property of the other to cease and that same property to be given to oneself. In other words envy here is not the average English meaning of the word “envy” where one desires the same property as another's, but of a more evil sort.
This occupation with negative thoughts about other people is something which is not only harmful to our own thought-process, as  it instils negative thought-processes for all of our thoughts, but it also means we lose time and effort on things which can never benefit us. Instead of thinking bad about someone – perhaps wrongly – we could have assumed the best, or forgiven him, and kept our own mindset positive and uncluttered by a secret festering hatred for someone.
Islam teaches that one should find excuses for others and assume the best. We are instructed to find seventy excuses for our brother before we condemn him to a fault[1] but alas we almost always do the opposite and find seventy ways to condemn someone!
The Qur'an also makes this point emphatically through the ayah:
“And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give (any sort of help) to their kinsmen, the poor, and those who left their homes for Allah's Cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (22:24)
The exegesis behind this verse makes the point even more poignant and shows how much Islam ranks forgiveness of others. Aisha, the daughter of Abu Bakr and the wife of the Prophet, was accused of infidelity by a number of hypocrites in Madinah which caused great angst to Aisha, Abu Bakr's family, and the Prophet. From amongst the people spreading the rumour also happened to be a poor relative of Abu Bakr's whom Abu Bakr had been supporting financially. Naturally Abu Bakr grew extremely angry when he heard that this man, who was eating and drinking using the money Abu Bakr had given him, was going around slandering his daughter, and he stopped the man's stipend. When Abu Bakr did this, Allah sent down the above verse, and upon hearing this verse Abu Bakr not only reinstated that man's stipend, but he increased it to more than it was before!
And we are all sinners and were Allah to take us all to account for our sins then we would all be doomed as he says in the verse:
“And if Allah were to punish men for that which they earned, He would not leave a moving (living) creature on the surface of the earth; but He gives them respite to an appointed term: and when their term comes, then verily, Allah is Ever All-Seer of His slaves.” (45:35)
In other words, we expect to be forgiven our mountainous amounts of sins and yet we cannot bring ourselves to forgive petty things that people do in everyday life around us.
Imam Shafii then goes on to advise that one should never be bad-mannered and visibly angry, even in front of someone who angers you or is your enemy. And indeed body-language research shows that there is a tendency for people to mirror the actions of those around them and to reciprocate in a like manner. So if we keep a happy exterior, then chances are people will interact with us positively.
The final verses advise us to keep in close contact with society  so that we know how people function and so that we can start to  judge them more accurately. If we were to stay away from them however, then we would lose the ability of social interaction and would suffer as a result when we need to interact. This can be clearly seen by the observation that salesmen, doctors, nurses, and other professionals who deal with people daily, possess much sharper social skills than desk-bound employees who have little  to no customer interaction.


[1]    From a saying of Jafar ibn Muhammad amongst other Muslim scholars